In the Navy

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This happened when I was 18 - my first year in the Navy.  It's another Holloween story.

My sister and I were both stationed in Scotland.  It was announced that there was going to be a party at the enlisted men's club on base.

We dressed up for the party - she went as Mike Hammer and I went as Lady Diana.  My sister's roommate was the same size as me - I wore a red dress and a wig - and she put on the makeup.  I looked so convincing - even my sister wanted to lay me (she's lesbian).  Problem - I couldn't even get my big toe in her heels - so I just wore my men's dress shoes.

We went to the club.  All my sister's "girl-friends" (ie fellow lesbians) wanted me!  Even better - all the GUYS wanted me!  I was enjoying myself more than I'd ever have in my entire life (before and after).  There was a lot of folks in costumes - and guess who won.  ME!!

After I get my "prize" (a couple of movie tickets) I go up to the bar and sit down.  The next thing I know, a marine sits next to me.  I know this guy - I've been drooling over him forever!  I've seen him on my ship.  He's FUCKIN GORGEOUS!  

He tells the bartender - I'd like to buy this lady a drink (pointing to me).

My heart is racing.  "Does he know?.  Should I say something?  OMG!!"  Against all my might, I have to refuse.  I realize this could end up very bad...

In the deepest voice I could muster (pretty hard for me to do at the time) I say "You REALLY don't want to do that."

The look that man gave me - PRICELESS!

After his initial shock wore off, he started to give me advice on how to talk more like a woman!!  I think he knew!!  He told me that HE thought my "costume" was the MENS dress shoes!!!  

Story doesn't end there.....

The next day at work, my boss corners me in the office.  To preface this - I must state this guy was probably the most HOMOPHOBIC man I'd ever met.  Remember, I was in the Navy, and this was before GAY was allowed - but only if you stayed quiet about it.

Anyway - cornered, he asked "Lance, were you at the holloween party last night?"

"yes"

"Were you wearing a RED DRESS????!!!"

"yes"

"I KNEW it was you!"  We laughed.  I thought he'd report me or something.  Nothing came of it!