the dark fascination with getting POZ'ed

[Guest Seanstrd69]

I am new to this site, and it has me very turned- on by al the possibilities of getting POZ'ed. This dark desire has made it's way up through my conscious thoughts and fantasies for the last couple of years.

It's intense thinking that the AiDs epidemic stated to surface, right around the time I started feeling those homosexual yearnings; I had my first Homosexual experience in 1988. 27 years later, and I am actually thinking about taking a Poz load.

your thoughts on this will be appreciated.

[hungrysubbuk]

It is not so much a 'dark desire' - rather, it just means I'd get that out of the way, get on meds, and then fuck without needing a rubber - though of course there are plenty of STDs out there that being poz could end up creating problems. That is the kind of thing that makes me a bit uneasy about changing my status, though i think it has got to the point where 2015 is the year those raw loads will hit my ass.

If raw loads are your thing, then I guess it is a no brainer, and you have to hope that you can get the help you'll need in the future if you need it.

[Guest Seanstrd69]

I am a BB virgin, yet when I am on this site, I find myself getting very turned on, about all the possibilities. Getting Pozed has always been a majore fantasy, and a big turn-on for me. I think your right,

it does have something to do with breaking down barriers and getting something out of the way, facing your anxieties, coupled with sexual desire is a real rush.

the only thing that compares to the way I feel now, was when I was contemplating my first homosexual experience: the heart palpations, sweaty palms, not being able to consentrate, and the constant erections.

[Guest planomaestro]

hmmm if I had to weigh in, just be sure you have good insurance. My meds are $2600 per month. I'm healthy and it's under control, but if I were neg, I think I would fantasize about it too. Especially if I knew who was knocking me up. I think that would be exciting. I'm not sure who gave it to me, but I wish I had known so I could have enjoyed the fantasy part more. twisted, but that's my response.

[Guest Seanstrd69]

How long where you Positive, before you had any actual symptoms, if any, and started taking Meds?

[ChoirBoy]

I have been poz for 30 years, and on med for over 25. When you do test poz, you should start treatment right then. I hope you have a long and happy life.

[ozpozraw]

Was pozzed 30 years ago, treatments were hit n miss, some of the treatments put me in hospital, side effects horrendous! bit different to now, though some people still have reactions to the meds.

I wouldn't deliberatly poz myself, but if having bareback sex then expect it to happen sometime... relax and enjoy taking those cumloads everyone of them could be poz, no matter what the guy says!

[Guest Natural2]

I have been barebacking for most off my life. No matter what diseases are out there, the simple reality is that I have always found using a condom takes away most of the physical pleasure of sex. So, I figure that I might as well enjoy sex and worry about HIV if and when I get it (I am in my late fifties and am still HIV NEG). It has actually now become a very pleasureable part of sex. The fact is that there are a lot of guys, especially tops, who get a huge turn-on from taking control and trying to "POZ" the guys they fuck. When I am getting fucked, I get most of my turn-on from knowing how turned my top man is. So the more the more a guy tries to "POZ" me, the bigger the turn-on is for me. It is like mountain climbing, or sky diving. It is dangerous, but the more you do it the more exciting it is. THATS WHAT MAKES IT FUN - TAKING THE RISK. If the risk of HIV were not there, promiscuous sex would be nowhere near as exciting and stimulating.

[tnbiohazard]

If you become poz, you don't have to have symptoms (per se). If you test regularly, and then get on meds when you do become detectable, the worse you'll probably see is the "fuck flu", which is the bodies reaction to coming in contact with the virus. After that, if you're taking meds, you can lead a fairly regular life now and days. In fact, some studies are suggesting that an 18y./o who contracts HIV now will probably be able to live to an average age of around 70, just shy of the average age of neg. men which is 79. And new meds and treatments are on the way, which might help raise those numbers.

[mixnzz]

on meds and have no adverse reactions........health is great.....and getting fucked by all tops is what I enjoy

[snaketat]

No doubt, many consider the desire to be HIV+ a very dark, taboo fetish. Intentionally inviting a potentially fatal disease into your body has serious ramifications. Still, as others have suggested, it is more manageable now than ever before. It is expensive....and there is a stigma as well. But, i am not sure any of that keeps the dark desires at bay. Getting it over with, belonging to a "group", being open for a fear-less sex life are some of the reasons guys have talked about being their root reasons for chasing. I chased, was fairly quickly converted. I continue to enjoy lots of poz on poz sex. I did lots of research and felt I understood how life would change as a POZ guy. So far, I have not had any real surprises....other than how enjoyable the poz on poz sex has been.