Lookn4btm

That would be awesome! I want every juicy detail. ;-) Too bad you're not in Atlanta; I'd be glad to help make it happen for you. };-)

Thank you for your insights and clarity. No, I was not speaking to anybody in particular. I tried to keep my thoughts and comments as non-personal as possible. Thank you for not taking anything I said personally. It was not intended as such. Very interesting, the distinction between being HIV+ and being POZ. It's a glorious thing to be able to make that distinction now. I'm interested to learn more about the insights that you gained about yourself. I have heard other HIV+/POZ folks over the years say the same thing. It might not be possible for me to understand but I would appreciate the opportunity to try. A comment I heard the most (and this was at a time when HIV was pretty much a death sentence) was that their HIV infection made them appreciate life more. Perhaps sharing some of your experiences with getting in touch with aspects of yourself could help us all learn how to turn something like HIV into a POZ experience? I don't disagree with your point about your and your partner's right to have sex with one another if you are sero-discordant. Absolutely, those are decisions that you two can make about your own lives, your own bodies, and your own health. God knows, I've made that decision hundreds -- if not thousands -- of times over the years. The only qualification that I would put on that -- and perhaps it is not a point that I made clear earlier -- is this: Say I am in your shoes as an HIV+/POZ person and someone wants me to "gift" him. If I choose to fuck him and if he sero-converts, I have lost control of the "gift" which almost certainly will end up sero-converting other folks down the line -- some of whom might not have wanted such a fate. Here's what I mean: The fellow I "gift" might be totally responsible and keep it only to those who want it or he might, like you, manage the infection responsibly such that he is no longer a vector. On the other hand, he might not. Say that fellow infects five other guys as willing recipients. And they each infect five other guys and so forth. The numbers grow exponentially. Sooner or later (and probably both sooner and later), one or more of those guys is going to give it -- intentionally or not -- to someone who didn't want it. The upshot is that the decision I made will have negative consequences for an unknowable subset of the population. Essentially, I have infected a group of guys with my strain of the virus. I'm not entirely sure that I have the right to make the life-altering decision to give guys I don't even know my virus. I would see that as being unforgivably selfish for me to do such a thing. The only other thing that you state above regarding the distinction between being HIV+ and being POZ that I want us to be totally clear about is that, at it's root, we are still talking about an infection of a deadly virus that, no matter how individuals choose to handle it, is going to alter and complicate their lives dramatically. And it is going to impact other people and the community as a whole. Think about it this way: Every single decision that we make as individuals has a ripple effect. It's not just a drop in our own teacup, rather it's a drop in a pond or a lake or an ocean that is shared by everyone. If you believe in Karma, then a positive drop in the ocean will have positive ripples that will eventually become positive waves. Likewise, a negative drop...well, you get the point, I'm sure. From metaphysical and societal perspectives, intentional pozzing does not seem to be a beneficial drop in the ocean because somebody is going to end up washed up dead on a shoreline somewhere because someone else made a conscious decision to transmit the virus. To try to bring this back to the original question of the original poster which was why would one want to be poz: I hear your answer to be something along the lines of being poz is turning something bad into something good or making the most of a bad turn of cards or getting support from people with the same challenge. In my opinion, this is a noble, useful, and helpful way of looking at life and the cards one is dealt. But the core of the matter is that we are talking about infection by a dangerous and -- if left untreated -- almost certainly deadly virus. It's a good thing to be poz as in positive about our lot in life but it is NOT good to confuse or equate this with being HIV-positive which it appears some pozzing advocates/practitioners are doing. I'd appreciate your further thoughts and those of some pozzing advocates. This is an important dialog for us to have.

Glad I could help. See? Promiscu...I mean, experience has its virtues. ;-) Didn't mean to sound discouraging. I'd still STRONGLY encourage you to have a hell of a good time trying to get double-dicked and tandem-bred. How could that NOT be fun, eh?

I dunno, guys. This is a hugely sensitive issue. It seems that some folks are being very unrealistic and cavalier about getting and being pozzed. I'm not trying to sound judgmental here because I only bareback. I will not wrap it and I will not pull out. I also will not discriminate against a poz guy if he knows his status and he's managing it. I'll lay a load (or three) into him just as eagerly as I will a neg guy. I'm more leery of guys who have no clue about their status and who don't care. Makes me pretty sure there are other nasties that he's harboring that are going to land me in my doctor's office with my face hanging out. Anyway, back to the issue at hand. Maybe it's the younger generation talking but for those of us who were around in the '80s and '90s and who watched a whole generation of beautiful, bright, talented young men waste away into hideous and demented old men before dying ignomious deaths, being poz carries a tremendous amount of baggage. There were times in the 80s and 90s when we were going to 12 memorial services PER WEEK. I can't even count the number of times I hugged the partner of someone who just died knowing that I'd be attending his memorial in a matter of months. Guys, it was horrendous -- a tragedy worse than war. And it was uglier than homemade sin. The opportunistic diseases, the social stigma, the alienation and isolation. God, it was unspeakably horrible. The wonderful thing that none of us could have ever imagined is a time when HIV could be wiped from the face of the planet. We are at that point, guys! We can do this! We can honor our fallen brothers by eliminating the scourge that so heartlessly eviscerated their young and vital lives. And you know what's even better? We can do it and still have as much bareback sex as we want! Gents, it is nothing short of a miracle! We have every reason to celebrate with orgies of cum dumping and swapping. This is why the instant debate bothers me so much. Having gone through the Dark Years and having seen so many beloved people fall, it just seems disrespectful to them for us to be so cavalier about "chasing" and "gifting" and "converting." It seems particularly hurtful to the memory of those who are gone because we can do something about it. We can prevent it. We can stay healthy and live normal and highly sexual lives sans the complications and implications of HIV. We can stamp out the Satan that felled so many of our kind. It is wonderful that so many folks who are poz have gotten past the stigma, fear, and self-doubt of their infection. God bless 'em, they deserve to feel freed of the anchors that pulled so many before us under the cold and turbulent waters of a terrible death. That being said, I cannot help but feel that it is unhealthy and unwise to glorify HIV as something to be sought. It seems to be a holdover of oppression when being gay meant we were something subhuman that deserved to get sick and die. Intentional pozzing seems to be an indicator of a lack of self-worth. There is some deeper pathology there that we should critically examine within ourselves before making one's own body a sacrifice on the altar of the mass murderer that is HIV. It just seems so senseless when we have PREP and treatments that can stop HIV dead in its tracks. There is absolutely no reason for us to be fatalistic and think, well, I'm going to get it anyway so I might as well poz myself and be done with it. I've been rawboning guys for decades and so far I've dodged the bullet -- and make no mistake, it is a bullet. It is NOT a gift. It is not a game. It is not something to be taken lightly. It is a near 100 percent fatal disease if left untreated. Still, I refuse to engage in safe sex and have the intense thrill of depositing my swimmer boys deep inside of an eagerly receptive bottom dampened by the prospect of future consequences of a deadly disease. The wonderful part is that I don't have to worry about it and neither do my partners. We can stay emotionally and physically healthy and happy without worries of recriminations and guilt and the complications of managing an HIV infection. Several years ago before PREP came on the scene but after we were identifying effective treatments, I had a very hot blond/ginger poz fuckbud. We went to a BYOB (Bring Your Own Bottom) party as a couple. There was one guy there who used to be super hot with a really huge unit. He was clearly ill and he made no secret of the fact that the meds were losing their effectiveness on his strain of the virus. The guy dutifully wrapped his piece before slipping into the bottoms (wedging it in, might be a better description). After I'd opened up my bud with my tongue and fatboy, he went over to the ill super big guy, pulled the rubber off his unit and sat on it to the hilt. When he saw the look of surprise on my face he smirked at me and said, "Membership has its privileges." It was a hard point to argue. At some level he was right because the options were limited. The top fucked him for a while but he clearly held back from unloading his uniquely toxic seed into my bud despite his begging for a load from that huge hose pipe. The point here is not to titillate but to say that there was a time in our not too distant past when taking the "Membership has its privileges" view on bareback sex was a bit more understandable and defensible. However, there is absolutely no need for that self-destructive attitude nowadays. We have PREP for negs and treatments for pozs. If the same scenario happened today and I knew my bud was on meds or PREP, I'd cheer him on encourage the top to let him have it and I might even wedge my not-insubstantial piece in there at the same time and add my DNA to the soup. I suppose the bottom line here (pun intended) is to encourage us all to think about possibilities and not fatalistic eventualities. Let's remember our fallen brothers and do what we can to keep ourselves, each other, and our community physically and emotionally healthy. It's a totally new world out there; let's not drag the baggage of the Dark Ages into our new, enlightened, exciting, and highly sexual world. If you're neg, do whatever you can to stay that way. PREP is so incredibly easy, safe, and reliable. If you're poz, take the high road and manage your health. Or just refuse to seed a guy who doesn't have enough sense or self-respect to keep himself healthy. If you give it to him, he's just going to give it to someone else -- willingly or not -- and you're going to perpetuate the disease that has exacted an excruciatingly high toll on our community. All of the above high-mindedness aside, there's another very compelling -- and arguably less noble -- reason to stay HIV-: You will have access to more sex partners. Let's face it, most neg guys WILL NOT have sex with poz guys and if they do, they're less likely to engage in bareback sex or the exchange of body fluids -- which we barebackers shamelessly live for. Truthfully, being an out--of-the-closet bareback top limits my options even though I am neg. There are a lot of super hot bottoms -- both poz and neg -- out there who will not hook up with me because I will not wrap it for anyone -- no matter how much they beg me to. But if I was poz, my options would be even more limited. Personally, I have chosen the quality of natural, man-to-man, raw sex over higher quantity safer sex -- and I don't regret it one bit. I hope this gives you guys who are thinking about pozzing yourselves and those of you who have the ability to poz others something to think about. It's important to think about the long-term and bigger-picture consequences of becoming poz. It is truly a life-altering decision that, so far, cannot be undone.

Interesting. I see lots of bottoms weighing in here but my top brothers (all two of them) are remaining strangely quiet. Not speaking for all of us but here are some thoughts to consider: 1. Don't make it hard for them to get inside of you. If you are tight, someone is going to get left out in the cold and he's going to lose interest very quickly. Make sure you are well stretched and loosened up. Use a big butt plug to get/keep yourself ready at, say a party or a club or a bathhouse. Keep the hair groomed back there (this is a good idea for many reasons). Too much fur only complicates the issue and can be distracting. 2. Don't make it hard for them to stay inside of you. Don't ask anybody to be slow or gentle as you get used to it. You should have done your homework and gotten used to a good stretching before you even got yourself into the situation. Tops are, by definition, selfish (if they're good at it and know what they're doing). They're not going to want to coo and coddle to a bottom until he relaxes -- especially if he's jockeying for space with another top. He's going to want to get in there, get busy, get off, and then move to the next hole. Keep your position neutral. Depending on how you're getting penetrated, making it easier for one guy is going to put the other one out in the cold. Keep the drama and distractions to a minimum. Let both guys focus on doing what should feel good for all three of you. Don't wiggle, buck around, scream like a banshee, bark orders like a drill sargent, or otherwise create distractions. 3. Keep your expectations reasonable. Both tops are going to have to be fairly large and both are going to have to be real hard. Be sensitive to the fact that doing this is a semi-public place is going to put additional pressure on your tops to perform. Expecting two guys to get off inside of you at exactly the same moment is really pretty unreasonable. Chances are, one or both of them is going to want to "win." This means different things to different guys. Some guys think cumming first inside of you means he's marked you and he's beat the other guy at planting his seed inside of you. He's going to leave you as sloppy seconds for the other guy. Some guys feel like being the last man standing and finishing the job the an amateur started is winning. Of course, they're both right. It's incumbent upon you to understand that, to read them, and to make them both feel like they've won when the reality is that you've got two loads of cum in a very relaxed hole so you're the real winner. 4. Most tops don't like to share. We like to be the center of your attention. We don't want you distracted. We expect you to do your job which is giving us pleasure and getting us off inside of you. For me, feeling my dick slide against another man who is trying to get off as his objective is not nearly as exciting and pleasurable as having my cock buried deep in the soft, wet, slippery warmth of a man whose objective it is to get me off. So, gents, fantasize away but when push comes to shove (pun intended) make sure you go into it with your eyes and ass wide open. Don't set yourself up for disappointment because DPing is trickier business for tops than it is for bottoms. You might be able to orchestrate it to everyone's concurrent and complete satisfaction but the chances are against you.

Hello Gents. It's important to consider the physiology as well as the emotional, psychological, and sexual dynamics here. Anal intercourse is, to some extent, traumatic for a bottom's prostate and rectum. While it sounds pretty dreadful when put in such clinical terms, the reality is that those are often the very reasons bottoms like to be bottoms. That being said, traumatizing one's prostate generally makes it difficult for bottoms to come even if they want to. That is not to say it is impossible. Then there is the issue of blood flow: When a guy is getting piped really well, a good portion of his blood supply goes to his anus and rectum making it more difficult for bottoms to maintain full erection and come. A third factor is that oftentimes bottoms get so excited and deeply pleasured by having a man inside of them that their adrenaline shoots through the roof. Adrenaline is somewhat like an amphetamine -- and we all know that amphetamines and erections don't usually mix too well. The point of all of the above is to say that an educated, experienced, and understanding top won't get put off by a bottom who doesn't cum. He'll take it as a sign that he did a good job. And if his bottom does fire off with the top's dick in his ass, the top will take it as a sign that he's doing a good job. So, what's the problem here from a top's perspective? It can be a bit off-putting if a bottom comes and then calls an end to the party. His job is to get me off and since I only cum inside, either his ass or his mouth had better be ready finish the job. Anything less is being a rude tease. There will NOT be a second chance to do it right. I had a very hot boyfriend when I was younger who pretty much taught me how to be the excellent top that I am today. Aside from letting me inside the psyche of a bottom and giving me permission -- indeed, encouraging me -- to be selfish and assertive and to use my bottoms for my own pleasure, he would encourage me to keep fucking him on those rare instances when he came first. He said he was most sensitive to the point that the fucking was somewhat painful after he had come. He told me that he felt the most violated and used and that when I ultimately came inside of him, he felt my cum flood him more deeply and completely. He always encouraged me to keep going as long as I wanted even though his energy level had changed. Like a good bottom, he always thanked me for giving him my load(s). He considered them to be his rewards for his job well done -- and his job was ALWAYS done well. I miss him, God rest his hot little soul.