Yes, the meds do slow down the progression. In fact, if the meds are used right, you can live a normal life, and die of something other than HIV. Don't get me wrong, there are still chances that it will get worse for some, but the average life expectancy of a young man getting hiv at 18-20y/o is to live until he's 69y./o. Average life expectancy for a non-hiv man in the US is 79y/o. So the disease IS manageable. I say this so that people with HIV don't get discouraged.
As for those who are negative, know your risks. I will never tell anyone else what to do. I know guys who want HIV, and those who want NO chance of getting it. Even though studies have shown no transmission from an undetectable poz guy to a neg. guy, and if you couple that with a condom you are 99.999% unlikely to get HIV, BUT....
Yes, I said But. If you want NO chance of getting HIV, then abstain from sex all together. Just sit at home and wank. Extreme you might say? Yes, but it's the 100% guaranteed way of not getting HIV. Even sex with a woman with a condom might get you the disease. So what are you to do?
Know the risks, and know what risks you're willing to take. If you don't want any chance, then certainly refuse to have sex with anyone who's POZ. It's a choice. You don't have to get on prep and hope not to get it. (Yes, there have been cases of guys getting HIV while on Prep, though limited and poss. due to wrong use of the meds.)
Just like any other choices in sex, have sex with a 500 pound guy, or not, have sex with a guy with no meat on his bones or not, have sex with blondes, or not, have sex with other men, or women, or both.....They're ALL choices you make, depending on what you want. Yes, I know what it's like to be turned down by someone and feel unwanted, but it's still your choice. If you don't want any risk, then don't have sex with someone who's poz. If you don't mind some risk, then go for it, up to the point of risk you want to take. That means if you want a condom, then insist on it. I don't like sex with condoms, but it's YOUR choice, not his. Talk about it with the guy, and who knows, maybe he'll convince you to change your mind, but in the end, it's still your choice. And if you do become poz, then you know it was only your choice, just like the guy who get's passed around a room getting used by anyone with out insisting on a condom....it's their choice, and they have to live with that.