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I dunno, guys. This is a hugely sensitive issue. It seems that some folks are being very unrealistic and cavalier about getting and being pozzed. I'm not trying to sound judgmental here because I only bareback. I will not wrap it and I will not pull out. I also will not discriminate against a poz guy if he knows his status and he's managing it. I'll lay a load (or three) into him just as eagerly as I will a neg guy. I'm more leery of guys who have no clue about their status and who don't care. Makes me pretty sure there are other nasties that he's harboring that are going to land me in my doctor's office with my face hanging out. Anyway, back to the issue at hand. Maybe it's the younger generation talking but for those of us who were around in the '80s and '90s and who watched a whole generation of beautiful, bright, talented young men waste away into hideous and demented old men before dying ignomious deaths, being poz carries a tremendous amount of baggage. There were times in the 80s and 90s when we were going to 12 memorial services PER WEEK. I can't even count the number of times I hugged the partner of someone who just died knowing that I'd be attending his memorial in a matter of months. Guys, it was horrendous -- a tragedy worse than war. And it was uglier than homemade sin. The opportunistic diseases, the social stigma, the alienation and isolation. God, it was unspeakably horrible. The wonderful thing that none of us could have ever imagined is a time when HIV could be wiped from the face of the planet. We are at that point, guys! We can do this! We can honor our fallen brothers by eliminating the scourge that so heartlessly eviscerated their young and vital lives. And you know what's even better? We can do it and still have as much bareback sex as we want! Gents, it is nothing short of a miracle! We have every reason to celebrate with orgies of cum dumping and swapping. This is why the instant debate bothers me so much. Having gone through the Dark Years and having seen so many beloved people fall, it just seems disrespectful to them for us to be so cavalier about "chasing" and "gifting" and "converting." It seems particularly hurtful to the memory of those who are gone because we can do something about it. We can prevent it. We can stay healthy and live normal and highly sexual lives sans the complications and implications of HIV. We can stamp out the Satan that felled so many of our kind. It is wonderful that so many folks who are poz have gotten past the stigma, fear, and self-doubt of their infection. God bless 'em, they deserve to feel freed of the anchors that pulled so many before us under the cold and turbulent waters of a terrible death. That being said, I cannot help but feel that it is unhealthy and unwise to glorify HIV as something to be sought. It seems to be a holdover of oppression when being gay meant we were something subhuman that deserved to get sick and die. Intentional pozzing seems to be an indicator of a lack of self-worth. There is some deeper pathology there that we should critically examine within ourselves before making one's own body a sacrifice on the altar of the mass murderer that is HIV. It just seems so senseless when we have PREP and treatments that can stop HIV dead in its tracks. There is absolutely no reason for us to be fatalistic and think, well, I'm going to get it anyway so I might as well poz myself and be done with it. I've been rawboning guys for decades and so far I've dodged the bullet -- and make no mistake, it is a bullet. It is NOT a gift. It is not a game. It is not something to be taken lightly. It is a near 100 percent fatal disease if left untreated. Still, I refuse to engage in safe sex and have the intense thrill of depositing my swimmer boys deep inside of an eagerly receptive bottom dampened by the prospect of future consequences of a deadly disease. The wonderful part is that I don't have to worry about it and neither do my partners. We can stay emotionally and physically healthy and happy without worries of recriminations and guilt and the complications of managing an HIV infection. Several years ago before PREP came on the scene but after we were identifying effective treatments, I had a very hot blond/ginger poz fuckbud. We went to a BYOB (Bring Your Own Bottom) party as a couple. There was one guy there who used to be super hot with a really huge unit. He was clearly ill and he made no secret of the fact that the meds were losing their effectiveness on his strain of the virus. The guy dutifully wrapped his piece before slipping into the bottoms (wedging it in, might be a better description). After I'd opened up my bud with my tongue and fatboy, he went over to the ill super big guy, pulled the rubber off his unit and sat on it to the hilt. When he saw the look of surprise on my face he smirked at me and said, "Membership has its privileges." It was a hard point to argue. At some level he was right because the options were limited. The top fucked him for a while but he clearly held back from unloading his uniquely toxic seed into my bud despite his begging for a load from that huge hose pipe. The point here is not to titillate but to say that there was a time in our not too distant past when taking the "Membership has its privileges" view on bareback sex was a bit more understandable and defensible. However, there is absolutely no need for that self-destructive attitude nowadays. We have PREP for negs and treatments for pozs. If the same scenario happened today and I knew my bud was on meds or PREP, I'd cheer him on encourage the top to let him have it and I might even wedge my not-insubstantial piece in there at the same time and add my DNA to the soup. I suppose the bottom line here (pun intended) is to encourage us all to think about possibilities and not fatalistic eventualities. Let's remember our fallen brothers and do what we can to keep ourselves, each other, and our community physically and emotionally healthy. It's a totally new world out there; let's not drag the baggage of the Dark Ages into our new, enlightened, exciting, and highly sexual world. If you're neg, do whatever you can to stay that way. PREP is so incredibly easy, safe, and reliable. If you're poz, take the high road and manage your health. Or just refuse to seed a guy who doesn't have enough sense or self-respect to keep himself healthy. If you give it to him, he's just going to give it to someone else -- willingly or not -- and you're going to perpetuate the disease that has exacted an excruciatingly high toll on our community. All of the above high-mindedness aside, there's another very compelling -- and arguably less noble -- reason to stay HIV-: You will have access to more sex partners. Let's face it, most neg guys WILL NOT have sex with poz guys and if they do, they're less likely to engage in bareback sex or the exchange of body fluids -- which we barebackers shamelessly live for. Truthfully, being an out--of-the-closet bareback top limits my options even though I am neg. There are a lot of super hot bottoms -- both poz and neg -- out there who will not hook up with me because I will not wrap it for anyone -- no matter how much they beg me to. But if I was poz, my options would be even more limited. Personally, I have chosen the quality of natural, man-to-man, raw sex over higher quantity safer sex -- and I don't regret it one bit. I hope this gives you guys who are thinking about pozzing yourselves and those of you who have the ability to poz others something to think about. It's important to think about the long-term and bigger-picture consequences of becoming poz. It is truly a life-altering decision that, so far, cannot be undone.