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It's been my experience, having been diagnosed at 18 years old and navigating the complicated dating/hookup scene for the last 22 years, that putting your status out there right up front serves as a sort of snow plow to weed out anyone who isn't comfortable being with a positive partner and leaves (mostly) just the guys who are more open to it. There's no getting away from the occasional judgemental jerk who goes out of his way to make sure you feel adequately ashamed of yourself while inflating his own sense of superiority, but you just have to see those assholes for the shallow high horse jockeys that they are and tune them out.

I'd suggest trying different lubes. It may sound crazy, but some lubes can make a real difference. I find that for myself, any that have a mint base, or similar will prevent me from getting off. And depending on how "loose" it makes it feel, I might not get off. My old standard is petroleum jelly....but spit is a great natural lube. You might even try, if you're both piggish enough, having other guys fuck him first, putting their loads in him, then fuck him. I have known guys who can't resist shooting, and shooting quick if they know that their cock is going into an ass filled with other guys cum.

I like to use it as lube for my hole... scoop it up and rub it on his cock n balls... love hearing wet balls slapping my hole..

Couple hours before I start slowly having a douche and repeat it several times. This allows it to flush through and should leave it clean for some time.